Posted May 8th, 2007 by

I’ve been sick for 4 days now. It’s not fun, except for the fact that in-between bouts of feverish shaking and having out-of-body experiences, I’ve been wasting time playing Guild Wars and Battlefield 2 on my Linux workstation at home courtesy of Cedega.

But today, I figured it out… I’m becoming a zombie!

This is how it all starts–a long illness, then after I die off, I come back as a zombie. I’m not sure how I got the infection, but I think it was crawling through the storm drain tunnels of Falls Church with about 150 of my “closest friends” on Thursday. Think about it: tunnels, sewage, darkness, rats, water–it practically screams zombie infection!

I gave my wife a standing order to shoot me in the head immediately after I die. That’s the only way to stop the zombification and the subsequent eating of her brain. Of course, she’ll have to borrow a weapon, the 2 firearms I own haven’t been fired in this century.

Anyway, I’m adding a kooky zombie category over at the right and from time to time I’ll post something about zombies. It’s a subject that needs to be explored more in the future. That is, of course, if I don’t turn into one myself as previously described or I don’t wake up in the morning and wonder what kind of crazy, demented babbling I am capable of on my death/zombification bed.

What does this have to do with information security? Well, not much except for the fact that everything I know about physical security I learned from watching zombie films:

  • Intruders always find a way to infiltrate the building perimeter.
  • Avoid contact with other peoples’ body fluids.
  • Cameras and alarms won’t protect you when you’re getting your brain eaten.
  • Shooting intruders in the head is the only way to be sure they won’t come back.
  • It’s hard to act tough when you’re being mauled by 20 zombies, even if you have a shotgun.
  • Who needs social engineering when you can eat the guards?

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