It’s All Friggin’ Magic, Mkay?

Posted June 17th, 2008 by

OK, whoever named this product should be shot:  Ashampoo Magical Security.

However, as much as I love sprinkling on the Magic FISMA Fairy Dust, “Magical Security” is craziness.

I won’t go into too much detail on hackers, shampoo, washing, and South Pacific.  I have a feeling I’ll get plenty of comments to that effect.

Similar Posts:

Posted in Odds-n-Sods | 7 Comments »

7 Responses

  1.  mini-me Says:

    What do you do if you don’t have any hair? Can I still get some magic in my security?

  2.  shrdlu Says:

    Gee, your security smells terrific!

  3.  Amrit Says:

    This now replaces “Forescout” and “clamAV” as the worst named security companies in existence

  4.  Dan Philpott Says:

    Next up: Railing against automagic configuration

    Maybe they decided that their security technology was sufficiently advanced as to be indistinguishable from magic?

    Nah, the more likely scenario is they think it’s magical that people are paying $30 a pop for the product.

    I love the copy on the product page:

    “Experts estimate that it takes as little as 20 minutes before an unprotected computer is infected with an ‘internet contact’…” Can’t argue with that, I often infect my new computers with an ‘internet contact’, makes web surfing much the easier.

    “The algorithm is so strong that it isn’t possible for anyone to crack the code in a justifiable time period …” Uhh… Justifiable? Right, don’t think you can justify even making the attempt so ROT13 ‘encryption’ would beat that justifiability benchmark.

    “The security methodology isn’t only effective against the many confirmed hackers in the internet, but also against the spy who might be lurking in your own office and secretly copying files during the lunch break.” FUD, FUD, FUD, FUD, magical FUD!

  5.  darren couch Says:

    I think its more of “hiding the truth in plain sight”. Ashampoo, with proper spacing, becomes A sham poo. Or, perhaps with punctuation, it could become:

    A sham, poo.

    … perhaps referring to the client as fecal matter.

  6.  rybolov Says:

    Maybe it’s a maybe the use of “a” as a negative. Hence:

  7.  Vlad the Impaler Says:

    “I’m gonna wash that hacker right outta my hair!”

Leave a Comment

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.

Visitor Geolocationing Widget: