Super Secret Security Control You Were Never Meant To See

Posted September 4th, 2008 by

This super secret security control is from the unpublished control catalog of an agency we would be foolish to name here.  Oh, darn, you talked me into it, the agency is the Director of National Intelligence – Extralegal Ventures to Rectify Information Technology Hacks, Incursions and Numbskulls Gabbing (DNI-EVRYTHING):


The organization sanitizes information system personnel prior to disposal or release for burial.

Supplemental Guidance:
Sanitization is the process used to remove information from information system personnel such that there is reasonable assurance, in proportion to the confidentiality of the information, that the information cannot be retrieved, recovered or extraordinarily renditioned. Sanitization techniques, including clearing, purging, and destroying personnel information, prevent the disclosure of organizational information to unauthorized individuals when personnel are disposed. The organization uses its discretion on sanitization techniques and procedures for personnel containing information deemed to be in the public domain or publicly releasable, or deemed to have no adverse impact on the organization or individuals if released for reuse or disposed. The Black Operations For the Homeland (BOFH) provides personnel sanitization guidance and maintains a listing of approved sanitization procedures in their publication “Leave No Incriminating Evidence (or Where Jimmy Hoffa Went) Directive and BBQ Cookbook”.

Control Enhancements:
(1) The organization tracks, documents, and verifies personnel sanitization and disposal actions.
(2) The organization periodically tests sanitization equipment and procedures to verify correct performance.
(3) The organization employs personnel sanitizers (‘cleaners’) who bear an uncanny resemblance to either Harvey Keitel or Jean Reno to perform ad hoc personnel sanitization procedures.
(4) Lbh fubhyq arire gehfg EBG13 rapelcgvba be chg lbhe snvgu va pbafcvenpl gurbevrf. (ROT13 Super-Encrypted)

LOW: Not Selected  MOD: PS-1337(1)(2)  HIGH: PS-1337(1)(2)(3)  MAJESTIC12: PS-1337(1)(2)(3)(4)

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Posted in IKANHAZFIZMA, Odds-n-Sods | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1.  Jeremy Says:

    “It’s people. Soylent Green is made out of people. They’re making our food out of people. Next thing they’ll be breeding us like cattle for food. You’ve gotta tell them. You’ve gotta tell them!”

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